Tag Archives: Saxby Chambliss

Senate Agrees to Talk about Talk

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The Senate is now in the first stages of talking about the possibility of talking about discussions of talk

Gridlocks are the norm these days in Washington politics.  But every now and then miracles happen and one happened today which is being hailed as nothing less than a breakthrough of epic proportions:

The U.S. Senate, in bipartisan fashion, agreed today to talk about talk in the talk on guns in the U.S.

“I’m pleased to announce that I’ve agreed, along with 12 of my Republican colleagues, to talk about the possibility of talking about talks on talking about talks on guns in the U.S.,” said Tennessee Senator Bob Corker.

“Talking about talk about the possibility of talking about talk is the kind of talk we like talking about,” said Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal of  Connecticut.

“Is it something you’d like to talk more about?” I asked South Carolina Senator, Lindsey Graham, one of 13 Republican Senators agreeing to talking about the possibility of talking about talk.”

“Right now I’m not really free to talk about taking about the talks that we’re talking about possibly having but once I know more information about the possibility of talking, I’ll be releasing talking points of what I hope will be the sorts of things we hope to talk about,” said Graham.

Asked whether the visit this week of survivors of the December Newtown massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary school made a difference in their decision to support talks about the possibility of talking about talking, Senator Saxby Chambliss, a Republican from Georgia, said yes.

“Obviously we were affected emotionally after talking with the victims families,” said Chambliss.  “They expressed their concern about whether we plan to talk about this emotional issue so we told them we do plan to talk soon about talking about the possibility of talking about talks because if we don’t talk, not much can be accomplished in the way of talking about talks.  As I told these wonderful families, I didn’t come to Washington just to talk.  I came here to talk about talking because talking is the best way to get to the possibility of talking about talks.”

Family members of Sandy Hook victims say talking about talk is a good way to start talking

Family members of Sandy Hook victims say talking about talk is a good way to start talking

Senator Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Orin Hatch, and a number of other Republicans do not support talking about talk.

“We just don’t believe anything is accomplished by talking about talk or even the remote possibility of talking about the possibility of talking about talk because talking is regarded as socialism in the great state of Texas,” said Cruz.

Asked why he feels talking or even talking about talk is regarding as socialism in Texas, Cruz simply replied:

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

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David Vitter Honored as a Certified Pussy

As featured "Pussy of the Year," Louisiana, David Vitter poses for "Fat Pussy Gazette"

U.S.  Senator David Vitter (AB/DL R-LA) was honored by the Louisiana Jaycees as “Pussy of the Year” which now qualifies  him to compete in the upcoming “Pussy of the Deep South” Competition.

“This is an incredible honor.  It’s one thing to simply be a pussy,” said Vitter, a self-described pudgy, pasty-white, love-handled, fat dough boy who loves the lord his savior in the most effeminate fashion possible. “But it’s really something to be chosen as ‘Pussy of the Year’ in mah great state,” said the fat pussy.  “I’m just thrilled they chose me for such an honor given how many fat pussies there are in this state.”

Pussy of the Year, Louisiana, David Vitter demonstrates his best Nazi salute

When asked his chances to win “Pussy of the Deep South,” Vitter said, “Beyond my wildest dreams.  Ah am still savoring this award and plan to celebrate by going back to mah office, closing the door, and fondling myself underneath the desk to Internet porn and afterwards I will call mah minister to tell him what a fine service he gave on Sunday….and then ah will call  mah wife and tell her how much ah adore her before I get the urge again to get mah nut off at which point a simple call to 1-900-bustyporkers will bring a plumpster right to my doorstep which should do the trick–no pun intended hahahahaha.”

“He’s always been such a pussy and ah am so proud of him, ” said Vitter’s third grade teacher (retired), Mrs. Crabapple.   “Ah just knew that one day he would grow up to be a big pussy.”

“He’s a pussy off the old block….or should I say, a chip off the old pussy,” said his H.S. football coach, Curly Pubes.   “David went out for football in 9th grade, cried before he could even get his jersey on, and quit after two minutes of practice.  What an incredible pussy he was.  I’ll never forget the welts on that pussy’s fat ass from all the towel snapping he had to endure.  And did he man  up and handle it?  Fuck no.  He ratted out every last one of the guys who snapped his ass as good as any pussy I’ve ever seen.  Yep, there’s never been another pussy to walk these hallways like David.”

Vitter accepts his "Pussy of the Year" award from another pussy

“Pussy of the Deep South” competition begins in September.   Competition will be be stiff (definitely no pun intended).   Besides Vitter, perrenial favorite Lindsey Graham (R-SC) will be back to compete as well as Jeff Sessions (R-AL), Saxby Chambliss and all the other Republican legislators from Georgia, Lamar Alexander (R-TN), and Trent Lott (R-MS, retired).  The winner of the “Pussy of the Deep South” award will go on to compete at the national level where fat-assed pussies Joe Lieberman (I-CT), Mitch McConnell (R-KY), and James Inhofe (R-OK) are expected to be the ones to beat.

Cross-dressing pussy, Lindsey Graham, knows he is facing an uphill battle against a pussy who shits in his diapers